doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
