In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
