yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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