so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
