I want to make a zoo with you.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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