so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
