i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
