It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
