i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
