how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
