capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
