Please, let me fuck your mom
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
