So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
