Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
