physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
