Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
