I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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