everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
