This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
