at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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