If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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