$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
