DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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