giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
