just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
