blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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