So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
