problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
