champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
