i permit you to call me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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