At least make sure they are 18
Why
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
