And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
