Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
