if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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