my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
