I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
