theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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