I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
