Have you finally orgasmed yet?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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