shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
