he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
