The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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