You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
