oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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