Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
