If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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