I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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