seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
