My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
