so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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