And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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