I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
