Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
