and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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