I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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