Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
