I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Randomize
