I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
