***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
