that's an acceptable place to lick
honey bunches of taint.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
