Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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