oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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